The Georgia Newt

Eye of newt? Sounds like (more) witchcraft from the GOP

The Georgia newt (a subspecies of a small, slender-bodied amphibian with lungs and a tail, typically spending its adult life on land and returning to water to breed) was thought to be extinct. Although the Georgia newt is not small and is certainly not slender-bodied, it apparently does return to liquid substances (judging from its behavior, likely not water) to breed.

A recent discovery by visual and audible observation of a Georgia newt surfacing from its murky world offers despair that this subspecies may not be extinct.

After watching many sci-fi movies, the Georgia newt now has designs on the formerly unoccupied “Master of the Universe” position, and may attempt to take this role under the banner and with the help of the Greedy Oligarchs and Plutocrats cartel, also known as the GOP.

Newts are not monogamous, and Georgia newts exemplify that pattern. Although newts are not cannibalistic, this particular subspecies has dined on former mates.

According to a Wikipedia article, “Many newts produce toxins in their skin secretions as a defense mechanism against predators.” The Georgia newt discharges toxins by opening its mouth in the presence of microphones and television cameras.

The Georgia newt ranks with Darth “Heartless Dick” Cheney and its Bush puppet, the Alaska moose killer, and every RepugaCon minion that spews venom from its food/vomit orifice. You would be correct in assuming that I have no love for this loathsome creature. However, it does deserve credit for converting many apolitical people to socialism.

Obviously not a creature manifesting any intelligence, the Georgia newt apparently thinks that, after only two years, it’s now time for another slimy creature in the White House.

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