Humor

I Think They’ve Peaked…

Eat shit!

Sometimes you can only say it so nicely.

Well, once again the cowards are getting their asses handed to them.

I watch the right wing online and one particular site spewed the most ridiculous lies and distortions for months, hammering away at the recall backers. The anti-union rhetoric was disgusting, especially in the state that hosted the Ludlow Massacre. Feh. The “thugs” in CO have already clearly identified themselves.

Here’s what Westword said about them:

Political Blog Colorado Peak Politics is Denver’s Best Political Blog.

Because of the secret-secret nature of this blog, it’s not entirely clear where it’s based.

Golly.

Why are right wingers in Colorado such scaredy-cats? Too afraid to put their name on their work? Or just unwilling to admit who’s pulling their strings? It’s very obvious that there’s fundy money and oil money at work.

Also, to those who whine about FRL censoring ‘opposing views.’ Bullshit. I’ve posted comments that were CIVIL. The rules are simple. The people bitching are just louts that want to make FRL a cesspool like the Times-Call’s virtually-unmoderated comments. When the hero behind Not So Bonita fesses up, then, maybe they can post comments here. Till then, to hades with them.

As for this wingnut echo-chamber, I don’t see ANYWHERE to comment. What courage.
Update, LOL, they’ve turned on comments apparently. Not a lot of folks agreeing with them.

Obviously they’re not interested in what anyone has to say.

And it seems to run both ways, based on the election results.

Big Kisses kids.

She Still Hates Democrats

Nice to know I have someone to watch over me!

Nice to know I have someone to watch over me!

Born to provoke our ex-First Lady is (apparently). Not satisfied with wearing masks and throwing barbs she point-blank has to blurt out her hatred for Democrats periodically, much like the La Brea tar pits routinely bursts bubbles of black putrescent decay.

Longmont's self-proclaimed 'First Lady'

Longmont’s self-proclaimed ‘First Lady’

This is a person who styled herself ‘First Lady’ of Longmont when her husband Bryan was mayor. Obviously, her idea of ‘representing’ the city was a bit vague. More than half of Longmont votes Democratic – Ms. Baum certainly wasn’t their ‘First Lady’ – more like ‘Fist Lady’*.

She believes, as does her husband, that their political opponents should ‘do penanace’ just for opposing them. This continued monitoring proves just how obsessed she is with that.

And then there’s her dedicated hate website aimed specifically at me and my deceased wife Marilyn** that mentions her concealed carry permit. There’s a word for this.

There are some on Longmont’s Lunatic Fringe that give one pause.

Brittle and strident at the best of times, I can only imagine her intentions.

Any Democratic candidate that runs is fair game for her hate – witness the puppetshow around a local pizza place. Provoke until your opponent reacts, then hold up said reaction as proof of ill will.

I believe Ms. Baum’s endless jihad against me, my website, my family and my friends is ample proof that Longmont’s Lunatic Fringe will never embrace bipartisanship.sb_longmont_city_council_mtg_2

Far from it.

Consider that when you’re choosing candidates for council.


* in the friendliest way, of course!

** went live days after CO laws about defaming the dead changed. Classy.

Scofflaw Ex-Mayor Arrested for Failure to Appear

Brian Baum - Arrested after failing to appear for traffic court

Brian Baum – Arrested after failing to appear for traffic court

Wow. Just wow…

Longmont’s has-been ex-mayor Bryan Baum, obviously still a slow learner even after his last run-in with the Boulder County court system, caused a potentially-fatal accident involving a motorcycle and then didn’t show up for court on Oct. 17th. Apparently Mr. Baum has a real problem with authority – especially when he’s not in authority.

In 2010 he stalled paying medical damages to a Longmont family after dogs that escaped his property attacked a woman and her dog. The family took him to court and won a $566.62 settlement for medical expenses1 – after which he and his wife argued bitterly with the judge. Apparently there were also hard words outside the courtroom as well that prompted the officer on duty to ask them to leave.

The incident didn’t appear in the Times-Call until after FRL reported on it. Baum had paid the judgement – not much choice, the alternative would have been jail I suspect – and clearly had hoped it would simply stay swept under the rug. When the Times-Call finally published their story Baum called them and reportedly had this conversation:


(from Daily Camera online 10/25/2011)

“We paid our debt and now you are dragging us through this bullsh–,” Baum said, adding that he had receipts to prove the judgment was paid, although it was not yet reflected in court records. He said he would provide the receipts to the Times-Call, but added, “I am serious, man, but this is going to cost you. This is. You are going to pull my family into a bunch of crap.”

Asked what he meant about “cost you,” he replied. “We’ve got to get something in return for this.”


Mr. Baum subsequently lost a tight race for his mayor seat and sure seemed to be harboring a grudge; he and his wife (or someone close to them obviously) tried to claim that a post on Facebook by my stepson2 was ‘a threat’ and insisted I be arrested. The Boulder County District Attorney indicated it was ‘…not a credible threat…’3 but that hasn’t stopped Longmont’s hard-core partisan hate machine from trying to make hay with it – still to no effect.

To me, the funniest part of this new incident is that the accident took place as the ex-mayor was pulling out of the driveway of a McDonalds4.

The Times-Call story phrased it like this:


According to police reports, Baum was stopped facing west from the driveway to the McDonald’s near 19th Avenue and Main Street waiting to turn left onto Main Street. He pulled forward to attempt the turn, but stopped suddenly to accommodate another vehicle. When he stopped, a Harley-Davidson motorcycle traveling north on Main Street struck the car.


Sounds to me like he was in a hurry, pulled out without sufficient clearance, stopped directly in front of the motorcycle (to avoid getting hit himself) and the motorcycle didn’t have enough stopping room. Had this been on a street with a higher speed limit the accident might well have cost the motorcyclist his life. Luckily for the motorcyclist it didn’t.

It’s typical for people that don’t ride motorcycles to not give them enough attention but Mr. Baum has written about going for rides on his Harley so it’s pretty clear (to me at least) that he knew exactly how dangerous pulling out and stopping in front of a motorcycle was5,6. Probably why he was cited for “careless” driving. But more importantly he was also cited for “failure to produce insurance” – the same insurance you and I are required by LAW to have and carry proof of at all times when driving. Something tells me the motorcycle rider will be waiting for compensation for some time.

So, after causing the accident and getting ticketed he failed to show up in court. Only when a bench warrant was issued did he finally do the right thing and turn himself in. Maybe he is learning – imagine how bad a public arrest would have looked…

This is a man that thinks he should have another chance to sit on Longmont’s City Council – as an at-large councilman7 with a four-year term no less! – obviously hoping to weasel his way back into the Mayor’s chair some day.

At least that’s what the poorly-concealed rumors oozing out of Longmont’s extreme right say.

Here’s hoping this is the final nail in this poltroon’s political career and he’ll simply crawl away from the public spotlight for good.

One can only hope.


  1. The couple in question only asked for their out-of-pocket medical expenses when they easily could have sued for much more. But really? $566.62?? The guy’s a ‘wealth manager‘ – must not have much to manage.
  2. A veteran of two tours in Iraq and Purple Heart recipient
  3. I believe that’s lawyer-talk for ‘bullshit
  4. Especially since his wife and friends have been tweeting relentlessly about weight loss
  5. Assuming he ever took a motorcycle riding safety course…
  6. Or just didn’t give a crap…
  7. Hoping to knock yet another Democrat off council?

The Triple-D Sisterhood

Note: This post is written only half in jest as a protest against the continuing efforts to reduce women to the status of sexual objects.

Women’s Groups - Women’s Press... Digital ID: 1686445. New York Public Library

Come in, ladies, sit down at the table and pass the ice cream; we have a problem to solve.

I do not call this the Triple-D Sisterhood because of anybody’s bra size.  I call it that because we have been Disenfranchised, Disrespected and are Disgusted with what the old men in Washington and the State capitols have been doing to us.  They have declared it their prerogative to take the direction of our physical care, our health, and our moral responsibility out of our hands and to mandate what we must do with our lives, our mental and physical well-being, and our most personal decisions.

Many senior members of our sisterhood wear the scars of the “war for equality” and had believed that we were the victors.  Now we learn that every generation of women are going to have to fight it over again.  We are old and tired and it is time for us to support the younger generation as they stand up to the same mindset that we are experienced in fighting, and we can do that best by relaying the basic information that we have gathered as the result of our efforts.

First, our male counterparts, (otherwise known as “the enemy”), find themselves in a recession of their own making and they feel that any job held by a woman is a job that would be better done by a man.  Toward that end, they are promoting the old bromide that “a woman’s place is at home, in the kitchen and bare-footed.”  Never mind that most working women are working to support their families due to a disabled, unemployed, or absent husband. If only they could be forced to do what they are supposed to do, the menfolk could straighten things out and solve all the problems.  Thus, not only abortion but all forms of birth control must be made unattainable to them.

The most obvious response to this might appear to be a boycott of sex by women, known as the Lysistrata Offensive, but it can only work if all women agree.  The alternative is to place the blame exactly where it belongs….with the men!  I am old and I grew up on a farm.  My introduction to the reproductive process came from watching my mother as she began to prepare eggs that were gathered from her hens to be placed in the incubator to hatch a new crop of baby chicks.  The eggs were “candled” by looking at them through a hole in a container that was placed over a lamp.  When placed over the hole, the eggs became sufficiently opaque that one could see the interiors.  Inside the shell, even a youthful eye could discern clearly the yolk in the center.  If there were a small, white squiggle attached to the yolk, the egg was place in one container to be transferred to the incubator.  If not, it went into another to be used for breakfast.  It was explained to me that the white squiggly thing was the sperm from the rooster.

This brought home for all time the knowledge that there are no baby chicks in a chicken egg and there are no babies in a human egg!  The babies are in the sperm, each of which penetrates the egg and consumes it, eventually making contact with the blood supply of the “hostess” and drawing nutrition from her until it outgrows its “container” and breaks free.  Without the sperm, the woman’s egg is expelled while a hen’s egg is breakfast!

We must insist that the medical community cease its research into ways to prevent women from having babies to developing ways to prevent men from distributing sperm.  They begin producing this product at puberty, often as early as 10 to 12 years and it continues for their lifetimes, often into extreme old age.  The only really effective means of birth control for men currently is the vasectomy, a simple surgery but a permanent solution and one that few men will consent to have done inasmuch as they consider their ability to impregnate women to be a sign of their manhood.  If they choose to continue to take our right to control our own health, they must do whatever is necessary to avoid the risk of being denied the pleasure of our bodies.  We’re going to “cook breakfast”.

This writer is an octogenarian who has spent a half century working with handicapped and deprived people and advocating on their behalf while caring for her own working-class family.  She spends her “Sunset Years” in writing and struggling with The System.

You Might be a Conservative If — 2012 Edition

  1. You think that if the government is forced into another shutdown scenario this summer — again — it’ll be the fault of the president — again — and not due to John Boehner and Eric Cantor playing the same game they played last year which resulted in the nation’s credit rating being reduced. And you believe this, in spite of the evidence, because Sean Hannity said so last week — again.
  2. You believe President Obama’s support for gay marriage will weaken the sanctity of your own marriage. And the two babes you’re banging on the side down at Bubba’s Busty Bistro both agree with you.
  3. In the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman case, you immediately took the side of Zimmerman, because Martin was wearing a hoody and had no business being out at night in a gated community. But you still insist your position has nothing to do with race.
  4. You bristle whenever someone reminds you that today’s recession began during the George W Bush administration, and have even developed a talking point to combat it; “Bush is gone, It’s Obama’s presidency now!” Except of course, when president Obama killed Osama bin Laden, then suddenly Bush did it.
  5. 2012 is already trending to be the warmest year in recorded meteorological history, followed by 2011, 2010, 2005, 1998, 2003, 2002, 2009, 2006, 2007, 2004 and 2001. But because 2008 didn’t make the grade, you’re quite certain climate change is bullshit.
  6. You’re convinced that there’s massive voter fraud going on in the African/American community, because you saw 13 “New Black Panthers” looking mighty intimidating at a polling station on Fox News once. Even though, those 13 jokers make up the entirety of the New Black Panthers, and Fox News played that footage more times than they played the Rev. Wright tape. Oh, but don’t you assume from this that Fox is appealing to racist voters.
  7. You take Mitt Romney at his word when he said “Of course I would have given the order [to go after bin Laden in Pakistan], even Jimmy Carter would have.” Even though Mitt Romney previously said “Osama bin Laden is not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch. I do not concur in the words of Barack Obama in a plan to enter an ally of ours.” But hey, this is all academic anyway, because everyone knows President Obama was only following Bush’s strategeiry.
  8. You think the recall movement going on in Wisconsin is un-American, and Scott Walker is only doing what the voters of his state demand. And that recording of Walker taking a phone call from a bogus David Koch was overblown… He just thought it was a courtesy call to discuss their mutual love of cheese.
  9. You think Romney will be a better president than Obama, because he’s made it crystal clear that he wants nothing to do with those creepy gays. Well, except for that one time, when he was running for governor of Massachusetts (link).
  10. You believe the debt is at $15 trillion today, primarily due to Barack Obama’s failed policies, even though it was at $11 trillion when he was inaugurated, and the tax cuts and wars had yet to be factored in during the Bush years. You also believe George Bush’s role in doubling it was necessary, because he had to combat a Democratic-controlled congress… the very Democrats that voted 126 to 81 against the Iraq War. And the two tax cuts became law by Bush using reconciliation, against the will of the Majority. Together, these made up the bulk of Bush’s spending spree, because after all; “Deficits don’t matter.” ~ Dick Cheney
  11. You tout the concept of “American Exceptionalism,” because America’s the bomb! We’ve done it all, we do it right every time (unless a Democrat’s in power) and those stupid European socialist twits would have been lost decades ago, if not for us. And anybody who says our claims of American Exceptionalism are really just arrogant boasts of “American Superiority,” is just jealous, because they know we’re the best. Booyah!
  12. Even though Rush Limbaugh called a young birth control activist a slut and nobody within the GOP condemned him for it, the Komen Foundation was infiltrated by a mole whose intent was to defund Planned Parenthood, the governor of the state of Virginia proposed a bill that would have required a trans-vaginal probe against her will before being permitted to have an abortion, Planned Parenthood itself has been under attack by Boehner’s congress, and most Republicans voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Law, a bill guaranteeing equal pay for women — you still deny that there’s any sort of “War on Women,” because Gretchen Carlson said so on Fox & Friends. And she’s a woman, so case closed!
  13. You think Mitt Romney would make a better president than Barack Obama, because he’s had hands-on experience in the business world. And who was the last president who ran on his record of business experience? George W. Bush. So there.
  14. You think Barack Obama broke the law by backing the NATO mission to support the Libyan rebellion, which ultimately toppled a true supporter of international terrorism, but Bush’s invasion of Iraq … which wasn’t condoned by NATO or the United Nations, was just swell.
  15. You believe teachers, firemen and cops are overpaid, and that’s a better place to make budget cuts than asking millionaires and billionaires to pay the same tax rate they did under Clinton… when times were good, and the budget was balanced.
  16. You’re a big supporter of Free Speech, but nothing ruins your day more than when some immigrant says Sarah Palin was dumb. How dare they? If that’s what they think, then they should go back to Russia. Then Sarah can wave at them from her porch.
  17. You think Citizens United was the best thing to happen to Democracy since Glenn Beck, because finally, those poor downtrodden corporatists will have a say in who represents their interests… just as poor Siemens, Mengele GmbH, IG Farben and Bayer were finally permitted to do what they do best, once freed of those pesky, restrictive regulations. Because nothing says “Freedom,” better than a government kept in check by industry!
  18. You were shocked, SHOCKED when the Romney campaign suggested Barack Obama might try to use Romney’s Mormon faith as a wedge issue in the coming months, even though there are no such plans to do so. What sort of sick, anti-American commie party would ever use religion to divide America? After all, who’s ever done that?

Boulder County GOP Packs It In

In a surprise move today the Boulder County GOP announced that it was “disbanding and ceasing operations” citing “people just aren’t buying it anymore.”

Read the rest at The Blue Line.

(originally post on 3/31, updated to 4/1 – FRL)

Terms of Ensearchment

FRL runs on WordPress which has a very nice reporting tool.

Along with tracking our traffic it keeps a list of the last ten entries into our search field.

The following is from Nov. 5, 2011 and is presented without comment.

Leapin’ Lizards!

Photo courtesy http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1136585

Who usually carries suitcases full of money?

They’re on a roll.  It’s only the first of four innings and “Look Before We Leap” (LBWL), the telecommunications anti-2A issue committee, has already received $75,000 from the Cable Telecommunications Association (aka Comcast).

They’ve spent $63,845.15 with accrued expenditures of $175,662.  Add those together and you get $239,507.15.

No Blank Check, the same folks that fought the fiber optic ballot issue in 2009, took in contributions of $246,513 over the entire course of the 2009 campaign.  At the rate “Look Before We Leap” is going, it looks like the sky’s the limit for these leaping lizards.

In case you aren’t yet familiar with 2A, look here. Simply put, when the measure passes, it will restore Longmont’s right to use its existing fiber optic network.  That right was lobbied away during the 2005 Colorado legislative session.

Let’s take a glance at how “Look Before We Leap” is spending its money?  (And, by the way, how ‘bout that “we” portion of their name!  They want you to be snookered into believing that their “we” is supposedly “thee”.)

Back to the money — and isn’t it always about money when it comes to today’s campaigns. To begin, they polled Longmont voters. That presumably was to determine local sentiment heading into the election.  Those results will tell them how high the hurdle is – how high the lizards must leap.

Another entry was “canvas management.”   $35,250 for that one.  Know what that means?  PAID canvassers. Evidence of them was found outside my door just this morning.

They had a $19,502 TV ad buy.  I haven’t seen the ads.  But I’m told they spent their money at Fox News.  That ought to tell folks where they think their “no” votes will come from.  And $3,920 went for newspaper ads.  Times-Call subscribers saw a recent half-page ad. How could they miss it?

LBWL paid ten grand for legal advice.  I presume some of that was to threaten the City of Longmont over what they called a “propaganda” communication that the city mailed to Longmont citizens. The publication explained the measure, Longmont’s fiber optic history and arguments for and against the measure, as required by law.  But ten grand, just for that?  Seems a little steep.  Might there be a second shoe somewhere?

Don’t let that little boy, who seems to be ready to jump into an empty swimming pool, pull at your heartstrings – or raise your blood pressure with all kinds of unfounded fears.  Your taxes are not being raised.  And once the city reacquires its right to more fully utilize its network, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to weigh in on whatever proposals may come forward.

LBWL is very worried about RISK. But it’s not your risk that has them up nights. It’s the risk that when this passes, there will be some users who will be able to eventually say “hasta la vista, baby” (Comcast).

Eliminate empathy and, voila, budget problem solved!

Andy Borowitz has been called “one of the wittiest Web wags.”  Amongst the funniest people in America, Borowitz is known for creating the satirical website The Borowitz Report.

No one’s ox is off limits for goring, but Republicans in Washington D.C. and across the country have given him a plethora of material.  What makes Borowitz both funny and effective is his ability to get to the core of an issue.

Congress is back in session and we will be exposed to high levels of toxicity from Speaker John Boehner and his right-hand man Eric Cantor. President Obama will be speaking to a joint session on Thursday. And the “Super Committee” of six Republicans and six Democrats will also be convening for the first time.

It it timely to review the Borowitz Report of June 29th. This satirical post exposes truths underpinning the division between Republicans and Democrats.

As reported in the World According to Andy:

“The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy,” Rep. Cantor said. “As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people’s basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors.” Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

Satirists like Borowitz and comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert provide more than comic relief, they often hold a mirror up to reality when that reality is otherwise to toxic to accept.

Read the rest of “Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathyhere.

Sometimes the truth is disguised as satire

Venetian mask

Only Satan's laughing now

Lest Longmont’s Lunatic Fringe loses what’s left of their limited self-control (how’s that for alliteration), yes, I do know satire when I see it. I also know that satire, as a comedic approach, allows elements of truth to seep in where otherwise they might be rejected.

My favorite print satirist is Andy Borowitz. And today he gave us a doozy: Cheney’s Book Features Foreword by Satan

In his introduction, the Prince of Darkness said he rarely reads political memoirs but made an exception in the case of Mr. Cheney “because we had worked so closely together in the past.”

Read the rest here.

A “ghost” from the past

I don’t know if there’s life after politics, but I do know that there was life BEFORE politics.

Prior to the 1980s I was an actor, dancer, singer, director, and choreographer (and theatre instructor) – almost entirely stage. I abandoned those efforts in favor of making a sustainable living. However, my memories are long and deep. The sad part of live theatre is that it is retained only in our memories. Film lives on for posterity.

Today my daughter stumbled upon a movie I did in 1977 – Hot Tomorrows. Hot Tomorrows is a delightful tongue-in-cheek treatise on death. Watch the finale below and have a ball. It’s done in Busby Berkeley style. Hot Tomorrows was directed by Martin Brest who went on to direct Beverly Hills Cop, Meet Joe Black and the Golden Globe winning, Scent of a Woman, amongst many others in his illustrious career.

In the Hot Tomorrows finale I am amongst the dancers in “42nd Street.” I’m on camera right (yes, you read that correctly – wink, wink). I’m the fourth dancer from the top of the line. As to the rest, not a clue; and it moves too fast and there are too many of us.

In the still, I’m on the very far right. Believe me, this is the only time you’ll find me there.

Our make-up (though hard to tell here) was sunken eyes and our long fingernails were in black to match the black and white cinematography of decades gone by.

The opening sequence has us dancing with lit cigarettes hanging from our mouths. Although I’m now a lung cancer survivor (thanks to cigarettes), it doesn’t diminish my ability to enjoy this, perhaps even more now than at the time it was filmed. After all, the “Grim Reaper” will take us all in due course. Perhaps he will WINK AT US when that time comes.

Larimer County GOP chairman surrenders on felony warrant

From ColoradoPols.com

For more details – go to this post at LovelandPolitics.com

GOP Chairman Resigns For Financial Mismanagement

Note the date: March 4.

Note this line:

The Larimer County GOP is facing what is being called the biggest campaign finance disclosure fine in history topping $100,000

and their story link.

Gee, Larry looks pretty jaunty there.

Compare that to the image from the ColoradoPols article.

Funny this got very little coverage till now. Kudos to ColoradoPols and LovelandPolitics.

Gee… to think some people were wringing their hands over Jack Pommer’s late paperwork filing but had nothing to say about this… Not only did they pointedly ignore a financial scandal but one of historical proportions. There’s some tasty hypocrisy.

At least this crimminal got caught.

Unreasonable, imprudent and unsafe

From the Boulder Daily Camera:

Longmont man sued — again — in accidental AK-47 shooting

Danny G. Long accused of negligence in Roosevelt National Forest shooting

By Erica Meltzer Camera Staff Writer

Posted: 06/21/2011 06:02:14 PM MDT

A Longmont man who police say accidentally shot two men with an AK-47 last year — and then tried to blame his 10-year-old son for the incident — is being sued for the second time by one of his alleged victims.

Matthew Goldstein, of Longmont, filed suit last week in Boulder District Court, alleging that Danny Glenn Long was negligent in not using his assault rifle in a “reasonable, prudent and safe manner.”

The lawsuit seeks more than $100,000 in damages.

Read the rest at the Boulder Daily Camera.


This story is so damn weird. Go read it. Look for the Twinkie and just past.

Oh.

My.

God.

Are you married? Are you gay? Are you both?

70% of Existing Marriages May Already Be Gay « Borowitz Report
www.borowitzreport.com

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – As lawmakers in New York clashed over legalizing gay marriage, a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay.


A huge shout out to Andy Borowitz, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and every other comedian who knows how to capture the absurdity of rightwing thinking and actions.