Tag Archive for Jon Stewart

Eliminate empathy and, voila, budget problem solved!

Andy Borowitz has been called “one of the wittiest Web wags.”  Amongst the funniest people in America, Borowitz is known for creating the satirical website The Borowitz Report.

No one’s ox is off limits for goring, but Republicans in Washington D.C. and across the country have given him a plethora of material.  What makes Borowitz both funny and effective is his ability to get to the core of an issue.

Congress is back in session and we will be exposed to high levels of toxicity from Speaker John Boehner and his right-hand man Eric Cantor. President Obama will be speaking to a joint session on Thursday. And the “Super Committee” of six Republicans and six Democrats will also be convening for the first time.

It it timely to review the Borowitz Report of June 29th. This satirical post exposes truths underpinning the division between Republicans and Democrats.

As reported in the World According to Andy:

“The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy,” Rep. Cantor said. “As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people’s basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors.” Rep. Cantor noted that “the word ‘empathy’ comes from the Greek word ‘pathos,’ meaning ‘pathetic’ – and that’s exactly what helping people is: pathetic.”

Satirists like Borowitz and comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert provide more than comic relief, they often hold a mirror up to reality when that reality is otherwise to toxic to accept.

Read the rest of “Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathyhere.

Are you married? Are you gay? Are you both?

70% of Existing Marriages May Already Be Gay « Borowitz Report

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – As lawmakers in New York clashed over legalizing gay marriage, a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay.

A huge shout out to Andy Borowitz, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and every other comedian who knows how to capture the absurdity of rightwing thinking and actions.

Memo to Jon Stewart

At the finale of Saturday’s “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear,” Jon Stewart asserted, “But we live now in hard times — not end times. And we can have animus and not be enemies.” That depends, Mr. Stewart, that depends.

The purpose of the Rally to Restore Sanity was to shine a spotlight on the caustic discourse on 24-hour cable television. Mr. Stewart, it will be there after the election as it was before the election. There’s money to be made. And MONEY is what now drives America — not values, not value.

For two years we have been subjected to obstructionism from the Republicans in the U.S. Senate. We have been subjected to the Tea Party and the lunatics that attend their rallies, proudly displaying their racism and promising threats of violence if they don’t get their way on November 2nd.

False assertions of socialism will be replaced by genuine fascism if Republicans should have their way. They’ve made no secret of this. They don’t call it that, but their agenda shouts it. However, as long as Barack Obama holds the presidency, there will be no totalitarianism to seal the fate of the nation.

Amongst the crowd of attendees estimated as high as 250,000, a sign emblazoned with the Fox News logo, hoisted by an attendee at the rally, read “This is my comedy channel.” The other side of the sign, illustrated with a Comedy Central logo, read: “This is my news channel.”

Don’t give up, Jon Stewart and your alter Stephen Colbert.